Kalpana Aur Haqeeqat Mein Kya Farak Hai?

Baba Saxidas Ke Pass Log Tarha Tarha Ke Sawal Leke Aate Thhe
Ese Hi Ek Din Unka Ek Naya Bhakt Aya Aur Unke Charan Saparsh Karke Bola
Bhakt: “Baba Ji, Aap Mahan Hai, Aapne Bade Logo Ko Gyan Diya Hai, Mere Bhi Ek Question Ka Hal Dijiye Na”
Baba Muskurake Bole: “Jarur Denge Bachha, Bolo Kya Hai Tumhari Duvidha?”
Bhakt: “Baba Ji, Ye Kalpana Aur Haqeeqat Mein Kya Farak Hai?”
Baba Ji Ne Kuch Socha Aur Bole: “Bachha, Hum Answer To De Denge Par Iske Liye Tumhe 2 Kam Karne Honge.”
Bhakt: “Baba Ji Kya?”
Baba Ji: “Pahle Apne Ghar Ja Aur Apni Biwi Se Puch Ki Agar Tujhe Amitabh Bhachan 50 Lakh Rs De To Kya Tu Uske Sath Sirf Ek Raat So Legi?”
Bhakt Ne Socha Ye Kya Question Hai Is Se Kaisi Pata Lagega Ki Kalpana Aur Haqeeqat Mein Kya Farak Hai, Par Fir Bhi Ghar Gaya Aur Puch Ke Aya
Baba Ne Pucha: “Kya Jawab Mila?”
Bhakt: “Ji, Usne Khush Hoke Bola Ki Wow 50 Lakh Rs Ek Rat Ke Mil Jayenge, Vo Bhi Amitabh Bhachan Jaise Celebrity Ke Sath Sone Ka, Tum To Sari Zindagi Din Rat Naukri Karo Tab Bhi Itna Nahi Kama Sakte, Main Ek Rat Amitabh Ke Sath Sone Ko Tyar Hun”
Baba Ji: “Hmm, Ja Ab Apni Beti Se Puch Ke Aa Ki, Agar Usko 50 Lakh Rs Mile Aur Ek Rat Shahrukh Khan Ke Sath Sone Ka Moka Mile To So Legi”
Bhakt Pareshan Hua Ki Ye Sab Kya Chakkar Hai Fir Bhi Baba Ke Sath Bahas To Kar Nahi Sakta Thha, Ghar Pahuncha Aur Beti Se Bhi Puch Ke Aa Gaya Aur Baba Ko Bola
Bhakt: “Baba Ji, Vo To Apne Bed Se Uchhal Gayi Aur Boli, Kyu Nahi Dad Shahrukh Ke Sath Sone Ka 50 Lakh Milega To, Main Ameer Aur Apne Friend Mein Famous Ho Jaungi”
Bhakt Ne Pareshan Ho Ke Pucha: “Baba In Sab Baato Ka Mere Sawal Se Kya Lena Dena Hai”
Baba Ji: “Samajh Bachha, Kalpana Mein Tere Ghar 1 Carore Rs Pada Hai, Aur Haqeeqat Mein Tu 2 Randiyo Ke Sath Rah Raha Hai“

family problem

Amritsar ke pagal khane me doctor ne ek mareez ka checkup karke kaha aap mansik roop se theek lag rahe hain phir yaha kyu aaye he?
Patient bola doctor me theek hoon par baat yeh hai ki kuch time pehle mene madarchod ek vidhva se shaadi ki uski ek jawan beti thi or mere pitaji ne us se shaadi kar li or phir meri patni mere pitaji ki saas ban gayi kuch time baad mere pitaji ke ghar beti paida hui or woh meri soteli behen ban gayi or us ke elava woh meri navasi bhi thi kyun ki mein uski nani ka pati tha ab mere ghar beta hua ek taraf meri soteli maa mere bete ki behen lagti thi kyun ki woh uski maa ka beta tha or dusri taraf woh uski dadi lagti thi is tereh mera beta apni dadi ka bhai ban gaya aap sochenge mere pitaji mere damad aur mein unka sasuror meri soteli maa mere bete ki behen yani mera beta mera mama aur mein apne bete ka bhanja.. 
Doctor cheekh kar bola madarchod bhosdi ke bhagwan ke liye chup ho jaa warna mein paagal ho jaunga teri  se..

BEHENCHOD

Just like FUCK, we Indians also have a Universally Versatile word-
BEHENCHOD

As a NOUN- Vo to Behenchod hai

As a VERB- Zyada Behenchody mat kar

As an ADJECTIVE- Behenchod launda hai



Now 8 Different Emotions-

ANGER- Bhaag Behenchod

FRUSTRATION- Sab chutiye hain Saale Behenchod

SHOCK- Oye Behenchod !

ACCEPTANCE- Sahi hai Behenchod

REJECTION- Gaand marao Behenchod

FEAR- Ab kya hoga Behenchod?

JOY- Sabki Behen chod di

SORROW- Behenchod maa chud gayi uski.

behen ki laudi randi hai"

Ek din ek larki dukan se parrot kharidne gayi....
Usne dukandar se kaha, Wasim bhai ek tota chahiye....
Dukandar ne use ek tota dikhaya...
Larki ne pucha is tote ki khas bat kya hai Wasim bhai...
Dukan dar bola ye tota bolta hai
Lady ne kaha acha..
Usne tote se pucha main tumhain kesi lagti hun ?
tote ne kaha:Bahen ki laudi randi lagti hai
Larki ne kaha Wasim bhai ye to bahut badtameez tota hai, gali deta hai.
Wasim bhai tote ko ander le gaya aur pani mein dubaya aur pucha...
Gali dega....?
Tota: Haan dunga
Wasim ne tote ko phir dubaya aur pucha .gali dega ?
Tota bola... haan dunga.....
Wasim ne phir pani me dubaya aur kaha .gali dega..
Is bar tota maan gaya aur kaha nahi ab gali nahi dunga
wasim bhai use bahar le gaya aur larki se kaha behen ji ye ab gali nahi dega..
Tab larki ne tote se dubara pucha ...
Agar mere ghar par mere sath ek aadmi aye to tum kya sochoge?
Tote ne kaha..wo tumhara shohar hoga..
Larki..agar do aadmi aye to kya socho ge ?
Tota. Tumhara shohar aur devar,
Larki. Agar tin aadmi ?
Tota. Tumhara shohar ,devar, aur shoahr ka dost
Larki ...agar chaar aadmi aye to?
Tota cheekh kar bola ..
Wasim bhai pani lao...
Maine to pehle hi kaha tha

"behen ki laudi randi hai"

teri maa ko chodta hun

Beta- mummy jaldi se kahin chup jao.
mummy- wo kyn ?
beta - dad ne mujhe cigrette pite dekh liya hai, or kaha hai ki ghar chal aaj teri maa ko chodta hun

popat

Ek popat car se takrake se behosh ho gaya




ek aadmi ne use ghar lejake pinjre me rakh diya.....




jab popat utha to bola...!

AAYLA JAIL..!! WO CAR WALA AADMI MAR GAYA KYA?

old cock new cock

 Farmer Has Twenty-Five Young Hens And One Old Cock.
As He Feels That The Old Cock Could No Longer Handle His Job Efficiently, The Farmer Bought One Young Cock From The Market.
Old Cock To Young Cock: “Welcome To Join Me, We Will Work Together Towards Productivity.”
Young Cock: “What You Mean? As Far As I Know, You Are Old And Should Be Retired.”
Old Cock: “Young Boy, There Are Twenty-Five Hens Here, Can’t I Help You With Some?”
Young Cock: “No! Not Even One, All Of Them Will Be Mine.”
Old Cock: “In This Case, I Shall Challenge You To A Competition, And If I Win You Shall Allow Me To Have One Hen, And If I Lose You Will Have All.”
Young Cock: “O.K. What Kind Of Competition?”
Old Cock: “50 Meter Run. From Here To That Tree. But Due To My Age, I Hope You Allow Me To Start Off The First 10 Meters.”
Young Cock: “No Problem, We Will Compete Tomorrow Morning”
Next Morning The Young Cock Allows The Old Cock To Start Off
When The Old Cock Crosses The 10 Meters MarkThe Young Cock Chases Him With All His Might.
Soon Enough, He Was Behind The Old Cock Back In A Matter Of Seconds.
Suddenly A Sound, Bang!!!! Before He Could Overtake The Old Cock
He Was Shot Dead By The Farmer, Who Cursed: “Hell ! This Is The Fifth Gay Cock I’ve Bought This Week“